Huge Gold- and an unsatisfying return experience.

[Gimmie The Loot]

You know once you scrap it, he's going to call and apologize for being stressed out and short with you and offer to come over to retrieve it from you. He'll explain how debate club didn't get him any girlfriends and wasn't a very interesting time in his life, hence not being very sweet on the ring his Mom ordered for him.

 

[Kansashunter]

If you put your faith in people you will be disappointed every time. I know exactly how you feel,.....deflated. I have done a few ring return where you would have expected a different response. Don't let it change you!. Keep it, at this point if he is not willing to drive and get it...IT'S YOURS!!

 

[C-Dredge]

I would keep it. I've never found a ring that I could return. I've found several wallets and each one came with regret for trying to do the right thing.

An ungrateful attitude would just make it all the easier.

 

[MTtrashdigger]

Ya know what, sounds like you were ready to rain down some good karma and happy to do so and these people peed in you wheaties. Heck with them, keep it and if they contact you back tell them you changed your mind and there will be a finders fee. Why can't people show a little grace and humility. Good luck, Mark

Don't feel bad... Found a 1983 school and found the owner and went to return it when I knocked on her door and told her where I found it then showed it to her she gave a dirty look and told me I invaded her privacy she then slammed the door in my face and I promised myself I would never try to return anything again. Its not worth it... if they didn't want to lose it then she shouldn't wear it.

I can't agree with this ^ If something has a name in it then not returning it isn't much different than stealing from them. For the 1 in a 100 unappreciative jerks there are mostly very appreciative ones. God only knows how important some items are that get lost, stolen or who knows.

If your story is correct, I’d keep it. It doesn’t sound like heavenly bells and tears of joy were part of any of this, so you know what? They have your info, THEY can make the effort. It’s great that you’re that kind of guy MT, we all appreciate that mindset. But if there’s anything that 53 years has taught me, it’s that not everyone else is like me/us. Sometimes nowhere even close. It can be difficult to understand, it doesn’t make sense to us. People can be obnoxiously suspicious. Your guy said something about it “being a weird call”. I ask the ether....how so? There’s a person (you) who is clearly conveying information in English regarding an object of value which is obviously his. Yet...he remains in a “stand off-ish” pose. Now it (almost) seems you are being suspected of some kind of under handed deal, when it all started with you wanting to do the “right thing”. All the satisfaction they can offer is for you to take the ring there and drop it off with no interaction? No smile? No “thanks”? No handshake? Nothing?
With that kind of nonsense as a reward, you might as well keep it, which is exactly what I would do.

After 16 years of detecting I found my 1st high school class ring recently. I have made attempts to contact the owner. I sent 2 PM's on FB Messenger and my son reached out to her on Instagram. I then spoke with the campus police office at the University of Maryland where she attends and the officer emailed her with my contact information. It's been a month and no cigar. At this point, it looks like I'm going to be keeping it.

You might want to reread the original post. Then read mine. Wait until you find an iPhone 50 yards out from a pier , buried in 1 foot of sand , in the water. Take 3 days of cleaning it up and finally getting access to the contacts. Reaching the owner and he says he's going to call the police and say you stole the phone. These kinds of things , like the OPs , will wear thin in no time. Regardless of whose name is on anything. I still make a feeble effort on returns. But nowhere near like I used to.

You know once you scrap it, he's going to call and apologize for being stressed out and short with you and offer to come over to retrieve it from you. He'll explain how debate club didn't get him any girlfriends and wasn't a very interesting time in his life, hence not being very sweet on the ring his Mom ordered for him.

If you put your faith in people you will be disappointed every time. I know exactly how you feel,.....deflated. I have done a few ring return where you would have expected a different response. Don't let it change you!. Keep it, at this point if he is not willing to drive and get it...IT'S YOURS!!

I would keep it. I've never found a ring that I could return. I've found several wallets and each one came with regret for trying to do the right thing.

An ungrateful attitude would just make it all the easier.

I appreciate everyone's comments and completely understand your position on my keeping the ring. But the bottom line is, it doesn't belong to me, and I know who it does belongs to. The right thing to do , no matter how ungratifying it may be, is to return it. I was lucky, and the ID of the owner took almost no effort. I did contact the guys father one more time, Told him I wasn't going to leave it on his porch and if he wanted it, he would have to meet with me. He is supposed to text me on Friday to arrange a meeting. If he doesn't, I am done with the effort.

 

[Metal Pig]

Google any name which doesn't too exotic or unique. See how many turn up within a few hundred miles. You'd be surprised. Sometimes even names which you think aren't common actually can ID 20 or 30 people nationally, or several in a state.

My guess is that you were likely a victim of TMI. You should not have given him any details other than you found a ring in general location (i.e., a Pike County, P.A. park). If he can't tell you anything more, don't give him anything. Never describe the object. Make THEM describe the object. Tell them you found a ring in Place X and it has their initials on it. If they can't corroborate it beyond that, "see ya". But you can always leave your number in case they remember. When you go to a lost & found desk/kiosk/office in a place of business or whatever, they will always make YOU describe the item.

Let's Google "Pamela Sweeney, Maine" and see how many come up.
Oh, look... There's one. She's a Realtor. Another is a Pharmacist. Here's a social media account of a Pamela Sweeney who was on vacation in Maine at some point from somewhere else (important clue as to how you can go wrong with location searches). Here's a Pamela Sweeney (nee another name) who grew up in Maine yet lives in NH. See how easily you could get the wrong person?

Don't get me wrong. I ultimately am a good soul and if I thought I could return a beloved heirloom or whathaveyou to it's owner beyond reasonable doubt, I would. But I would never just practically shove it in their hands, and with all due respect it kind of appears that's almost what happened here. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with just trying to be nice. That stinks. But human nature can be very selfish and you have to guard yourself.

 

[MTtrashdigger]

Google any name which doesn't too exotic or unique. See how many turn up within a few hundred miles. You'd be surprised. Sometimes even names which you think aren't common actually can ID 20 or 30 people nationally, or several in a state.

My guess is that you were likely a victim of TMI. You should not have given him any details other than you found a ring in general location (i.e., a Pike County, P.A. park). If he can't tell you anything more, don't give him anything.

Let's Google "Pamela Sweeney, Maine" and see how many come up.
Oh, look... There's one. She's a Realtor. Another is a Pharmacist. Here's a social media account of a Pamela Sweeney who was on vacation in Maine at some point from somewhere else (important clue as to how you can go wrong with location searches). Here's a Pamela Sweeney (nee another name) who grew up in Maine yet lives in NH. See how easily you could get the wrong person?

Don't get me wrong. I ultimately am a good soul and if I thought I could return a beloved heirloom or whathaveyou to it's owner beyond reasonable doubt, I would. But I would never just practically shove it in their hands, and with all due respect it kind of appears that's almost what happened here. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with just trying to be nice. That stinks. But human nature can be very selfish and you have to guard yourself.

I get it but in the case of this ring, It had his high school( which happens to be the same one my kids go to) , graduation year , and his full name, including his middle initial engraved on the inside of the band. Pretty tough to get the wrong guy.

 

[Monkeys Uncle]

...something...something..."finder's keepers".

 

[CoryTDF]

I have one return in all my MD career. Not ever a real one for that matter. I saw a lady in a panic as she had lost her only car key at the beach. Against all odds I was able to find it at the surf line and she was very grateful. She even game me a hug, In the height of COVID, so that is something.

I have lots of other returns of items over the years and all have been positive. If I was in this situation I would do as you have and try to get it back to them. If my intent was to keep it I would have never made the call at all. Once you made the call and got through it's now on your honor to fulfill your end of the agreement even if it does not feel good. After that, lesson learned, and the next time you might just not make the call. I mean, I don't think you are wrong to keep the ring if you have not previously agreed to return it. Now that you have though... principle says you have to be good on your word. That is my 2 cents.

 

[Sjcstro]

I appreciate everyone's comments and completely understand your position on my keeping the ring. But the bottom line is, it doesn't belong to me, and I know who it does belongs to. The right thing to do , no matter how ungratifying it may be, is to return it. I was lucky, and the ID of the owner took almost no effort. I did contact the guys father one more time, Told him I wasn't going to leave it on his porch and if he wanted it, he would have to meet with me. He is supposed to text me on Friday to arrange a meeting. If he doesn't, I am done with the effort.

Not arguing but the right thing to do would be to do as he requested and leave it in an envelope on the porch. Those are his requests and you want to do the right thing doncha.

 

[KOB]

Not arguing but the right thing to do would be to do as he requested and leave it in an envelope on the porch. Those are his requests and you want to do the right thing doncha.

Yeah right.....until he calls the next day and says..." I thought you were going to leave it on the porch "...

 

[Tom_in_CA]

You might want to reread the original post. Then read mine. Wait until you find an iPhone 50 yards out from a pier , buried in 1 foot of sand , in the water. Take 3 days of cleaning it up and finally getting access to the contacts. Reaching the owner and he says he's going to call the police and say you stole the phone. These kinds of things , like the OPs , will wear thin in no time. Regardless of whose name is on anything. I still make a feeble effort on returns. But nowhere near like I used to.

Kob, that is an amazing story. But .... not too amazing once you/we analyze it. Because while we md'rs simply ASSUME that the person knows they lost their ring or phone, yet .... what we DON'T always realize, is that the person who lost it, SIMPLY HAS NO IDEA WHEN OR HOW their item went missing.

So for all they know, it got stolen. There was a case of a gal who lost her very valuable diamond ring, while on a business trip, and was *convinced* that it must have been left on the hotel room bed stand. And that, therefore, an unscrupulous maid must have stolen it. Naturally, the hotel and their staff denied it, so it was just one persons word against anothers. And was left un-resolved. Meanwhile, it was just an honest case of fumble fingers at another location entirely.

So when the gal went to make a police report (required by her insurance), when it came time to check the boxes, she had checked "lost/stolen". Because in her mind's eyes, even IF she had left it on the sink at the women's restroom , when she'd gone to wash her hands, then the next passerby who pockets it, had "stolen it".

See how that works ? So in a way, the owner of the phone could indeed feel like you are now in possession of their property (and call it "stolen", if you like). But we md'rs have a different concept of how the ring or phone ended up on the beach. And we just *assume* that the owner is thinking the same way we are.

Thus I don't blame the people who don't lift a finger to find owners. I will still often-time do it (in the cases of class rings, or ID'ing script in it). But I do not fault those who don't.

 

[Tom_in_CA]

You know once you scrap it,....

Yeah, but the pickle that MT-trash is now in, is that he's already alerted the dude to his possession of the dude's ring. So MT might be in some sort of trouble now, if he just melts it.

If the dude wanted to make a legal stink about it, he could say that MT was in violation of L&F laws.

Sigh

 

[Tom_in_CA]

.... I saw a lady in a panic as she had lost her only car key at the beach. Against all odds I was able to find it at the surf line and she was very grateful. ....

That would be in the category of Commissioned posse hunts. And yes, no one of us md'rs would ever pocket anything, on those type deals. That's a different category than the OP's.

And yes, commissioned posse hunts are great Sherlock holmes "saves the day" events, that we all love to help others, share , etc...

 

[Tom_in_CA]

Not arguing but the right thing to do would be to do as he requested and leave it in an envelope on the porch. Those are his requests and you want to do the right thing doncha.

And at this point, that might be a case of having-no-choice.

Yes it sucks. Most of us md'rs do the return so that we have a "story to tell". That's a part of our hobby. But to merely be treated as if it were obligatory on-our-part, and .... leave it on someone's porch (at our own expense and time of gas and driving to their house ?), kind of sucks .

Any time I've done these type returns, it's at least nice to shake someone's hand. Hear the story of how they recall losing it. And how long ago that was, etc... Are they obligated to show gratitude and share in the Sherlock Holmes experience ? No. But would it at least be polite on their part ? Yes.

 

[dixiedigger57]

yea the whole situation stinks. i have done 3 returns that were awesome. a ring to an 86 yr old lady that was in a class of 13 and only her and one other still alive. the ring was lost by a husband she said in a place that puzzled her. Her grandson told me in private, yea we got some cousins she dont know about too... let it go...... but I had friends get the ring taken and door shut in their face.

today i found a 10 kt wedding band in the tot lot chips. NO NAME ! my favorite... and as Felix would say "And it fits!" my pocket that is....

a suggestion just to get rid of it with a lesson learned. send it signature via post office to him. registered mail. yea a few bucks outta your pocket. if he dont sign for it or deliverable, keep it, and after a while at $10 day storage from your recovery service... its melt time!

 

[BB67]

IDK 10K is still pretty soft. Rub that name a few more times and make sure you read it correctly. If he doesn't remember having it maybe there was more that one John Doe in that class?? I'd double check it. Seems Pops wants you to leave it on the porch for a reason. Maybe Covid, maybe he just don't want to be involved with it, as it might not be so true?? In all seriousness if it's his and you made the gesture(jester SP) to return it, then I would follow through. I'm a nice guy(Nice guys always finish last!). Mumbling "I'll never learn." as I walk away from this return....

ETA I didn't read the post about the full name w/middle initial.

 

[Swing4TheRing]

Who knows... maybe you'll get a phone call down the road once his dad sends it to him and he realizes what a standup pirate you are!

 

[woodbutcher]

No question ,I'd keep it

 

[Drew61]

It doesn’t sound like they care so you tried, it’s on them now, enjoy it.

 

[CoryTDF]

That would be in the category of Commissioned posse hunts. And yes, no one of us md'rs would ever pocket anything, on those type deals. That's a different category than the OP's.

And yes, commissioned posse hunts are great Sherlock holmes "saves the day" events, that we all love to help others, share , etc...

Yeah, that makes sense