Huge Gold- and an unsatisfying return experience.

[bmattioli]

I have never returned anything and never will.. just because..

 

[amc rulz]

My boy, Kyle, was born in 2000. You’re not off the hook yet.

 

[Sjcstro]

I have never returned anything and never will.. just because..

Lol yes!

 

[Metal Pig]

I'd say this guy definitely lost a debate , not a ring ! Can't remember an important event such as a class ring. Nobody does that. Doesn't remember the park or even owning it. Then " I GUESS I'd like it back ". And then pops wants you to leave it on some random porch....
I've had wayyyyy to many of these kinds of returns. Though I just returned a passport ID last week to a grateful girl (refused a venmo deposit). I'm still sitting on 2 wallets , 1 that is fully loaded , the other...not so much. This , after alot of internet searching , finding them and no response. Jewelry, , phones.....I keep and sell them all now. I have too many horror stories compared to happy endings. Keep it. Keep it. Keep it.
Just making sure.....Keep it !

Exactly. I dont think he was the owner of the ring. He just had the same name. I think he carefully felt out what was happening and then realized someone was likely about to hand him something of value. I would like to hear how if at all it was verified that this was the same guy who attended that high school. Obviously, he eventually said he was...but was that after he had a gold ring waved under his nose?

 

[TexasLurker]

Might as well stick my oar in, if you’re uncomfortable with leaving it on a doorstep. Just leave it with the police without the research you did. Tell the owner that was recommended by a policeman (not me). That way it’s safe and if he’s not willing to go pick up it will be yours legally after the proper waiting time. Just my two cents.

 

[DiggingThePNW]

Melt it. Actually the give to police route may be best to see if they even go get it.

 

[KOB]

Here's another brainstorm of mine. Too bad you couldn't make a brass copy of it and return that ! But that would require more effort and $.

 

[Metal detecto]

I know I might seem greedy and such, but I would keep it if he doesn't want it. Just because he mumbled "I guess so" doesn't mean he will take ownership of it, right? Then maybe call him again, ask him if it's his or not, kindly but firmly. Then yes or no, maybe write it down on a paper or something and sign, so it's yours.

 

[Metal detecto]

I know I might seem greedy and such, but I would keep it if he doesn't want it. Just because he mumbled "I guess so" doesn't mean he will take ownership of it, right? Then maybe call him again, ask him if it's his or not, kindly but firmly. Then yes or no, maybe write it down on a paper or something and sign, so it's yours.

Or another thought, he just doesn't care.

 

[Chipk]

I have 33 returns and most people were grateful but I’m always surprised at the attitude of some. But this took the cake:

I had been out hunting all day, had gone home, showered and had laid on my couch for a quick nap. My phone rang and a woman was calling me to look for her lost ring. I asked where she lived and it was an hour drive but I t0ld her I would be in her area the next day and would drop by. She very sharply told me, “No I want you here now!” She said she was leaving town and this was her mother’s ring and she wanted it found today!
I agreed to drive there and I explained I do not charge but ask to be allowed to hunt the whole property and keep anything else I find. She impatiently agreed and I,headed out.
Well I found the ring in no time and I was her hero. But as soon as I reminded her I wanted to hunt the whole yard per our agreement, she got nasty and pushed me out of her house telling me I better not dig any holes. I was shocked at this Jekyll and Hyde act.

There were a couple of penny signals in the front yard but knowing I was being watched I passed on them. But when I went around the corner of her house I got a strange penny-nickel signal behind a bush. I dropped down and dug down about 4 inches and saw the end of a bracelet coming out of the hole wall. I started gently pulling and out came an 11” gold, silver and diamond bracelet. Took it to a jeweler to fix a couple of links and he said it had been buried over 50 years.

 

[MTtrashdigger]

Return complete.

Thanks for the input everyone, but this matter is closed.
The guy's father texted me this morning and we met in the Walmart parking lot. He wouldn't even get out of his truck. Before I showed him the ring I asked if he knew anything about the ring. He told me he had no idea what it was or what it looked like. I told him I thought this whole thing was very strange. Here I had found a huge gold ring with his kid's name on it, that neither of them ever remember having or losing. I told him that if I had lost anything like this, even 20 years ago, I would remember and I would certainly be glad to get it back.
Then I said, " you guys don't seem to really even care". And I handed it to him.

He then took a closer look at the inside of the band and said- "Well, it's got my son's name on it, so it must be his. He must have lost it when he was still in high school". I then said, "there you go, you have it back now., Have a good day! He said "Yep, you too". and rolled up his window.
No thank you, no nothing- so I got in my dig rig and left.

This was my first return of any consequence but this experience will not deter me from returning something to it's rightful owner, because it's still the right thing to do. But I have learned a few things.

1. Don't give too much info about what you have found. In this case, I was 100% sure I was talking to the owner of the ring when I contacted him so I was free with information.

2. Don't assume the owner will be excited or grateful to get their item back. The sense of self entitlement has permeated society to the point where gratitude can be the exception, rather than the rule.

3. Once ownership confirmation has been stablished, make the owner put in the effort to claim his stuff. Your contribution to the return process should be your goodwill and nothing else.

Good luck to everyone out there. Hopefully your digs will be fruitful !!

 

[pryan67]

Thanks for the input everyone, but this matter is closed.
The guy's father texted me this morning and we met in the Walmart parking lot. He wouldn't even get out of his truck. Before I showed him the ring I asked if he knew anything about the ring. He told me he had no idea what it was or what it looked like. I told him I thought this whole thing was very strange. Here I had found a huge gold ring with his kid's name on it, that neither of them ever remember having or losing. I told him that if I had lost anything like this, even 20 years ago, I would remember and I would certainly be glad to get it back.
Then I said, " you guys don't seem to really even care". And I handed it to him.

He then took a closer look at the inside of the band and said- "Well, it's got my son's name on it, so it must be his. He must have lost it when he was still in high school". I then said, "there you go, you have it back now., Have a good day! He said "Yep, you too". and rolled up his window.
No thank you, no nothing- so I got in my dig rig and left.

This was my first return of any consequence but this experience will not deter me from returning something to it's rightful owner, because it's still the right thing to do. But I have learned a few things.

1. Don't give too much info about what you have found. In this case, I was 100% sure I was talking to the owner of the ring when I contacted him so I was free with information.

2. Don't assume the owner will be excited or grateful to get their item back. The sense of self entitlement has permeated society to the point where gratitude can be the exception, rather than the rule.

3. Once ownership confirmation has been stablished, make the owner put in the effort to claim his stuff. Your contribution to the return process should be your goodwill and nothing else.

Good luck to everyone out there. Hopefully your digs will be fruitful !!

That's a shame, but I believe you did the right thing.

I'm shocked that the father didn't remember his son losing a ring that the father likely paid for. I know that that would stick in my mind if one of my kids lost theirs. LOL

 

[Tom_in_CA]

Might as well stick my oar in, if you’re uncomfortable with leaving it on a doorstep. Just leave it with the police without the research you did. Tell the owner that was recommended by a policeman (not me). That way it’s safe and if he’s not willing to go pick up it will be yours legally after the proper waiting time. Just my two cents.

Excellent post. It satisfies every single conceivable moral & legal issue. Not that anyone really cared , since these are always "non-issues" (given the reality of the situations we face). But for anyone fretting the issue, this is actually a very good answer. Not that anyone "frets" it, but ... just sayin'.

 

[Tom_in_CA]

...if he doesn't want it. ...

Trouble is, that it could be argued that, since the cat-is-out-of-the-bag (the OP tried to be nice and rang-bells and raised red flags), that: Now the guy "wants it". And thus: The dilemma

 

[Tom_in_CA]

.... But this took the cake:.....

Oh, that is just *so* wrong. If you ask me, you should have been entitled to a pay-amount, for that amount of travel. And not just "to hunt the yard". That is just so wrong

But it's as you say:

I have 33 returns and most people were grateful .....

So far, that's been my experience: A few heart-warming fun stories, that my wife & I love to tell friends, even to this day. But sure, I can not fault those persons who simply don't bother.

A buddy of mine got asked by some beach volley-ball players to help them find a lost ring. He left a super productive beach erosion zone RIGHT when he was getting in the groove, and digging non-stop targets. He hiked down the beach to where they led him to. They showed him the suspected zone. And then the young college kids went back to playing their ball game.

After 30 minutes of gridding the zone, he found the guy's ring. He motioned for the guy to leave his ball game and come see. The guy grabbed it out of his hand and said "great !", and returned to his ball game w/o so much as even a "thankyou".

My friend hiked back down to the beach to the eroded zone, only to find that the high tide had now chased him out. The pocket was gone. He was fuming for ever having stopped his hot-spot to go help the ingrate.

Fortunately, hopefully .... these stories are the exception .

 

[Kansashunter]

I will guarantee that my hunts will be more fruitful that yours, cause like I told you before, I would have drawn a line earlier than you and JUST KEPT IT! I do returns too, and I am listed on the Ringfinders website (I love doing it) and very seldom do I get even reimbursed for my fuel or costs. The thanklessness of this whole deal changes my heart on everything. Thanks for what you did and I pat you on the back, but I am different. I would not have driven to meet someone, or tried to convince someone that they were missing such an item. Your the man!!! Good job.

 

[BugOutBob]

My opinion is "don't let the owner talk you out of returning it." Basically, you were happy to reunite the owner with the ring before the conversation. Don't let his attitude override what you know is right by you.

Oddly enough I found this philosophy watching COPS growing up. An officer pulled over a guy with the intention of only giving him a warning. The guy was rude and full of hate towards cops. The cop's response was that he wasn't going to let the guy talk him into giving him a ticket instead of a warning.

 

[Foragist]

Thanks for the input everyone, but this matter is closed.
The guy's father texted me this morning and we met in the Walmart parking lot. He wouldn't even get out of his truck. Before I showed him the ring I asked if he knew anything about the ring. He told me he had no idea what it was or what it looked like. I told him I thought this whole thing was very strange. Here I had found a huge gold ring with his kid's name on it, that neither of them ever remember having or losing. I told him that if I had lost anything like this, even 20 years ago, I would remember and I would certainly be glad to get it back.
Then I said, " you guys don't seem to really even care". And I handed it to him.

He then took a closer look at the inside of the band and said- "Well, it's got my son's name on it, so it must be his. He must have lost it when he was still in high school". I then said, "there you go, you have it back now., Have a good day! He said "Yep, you too". and rolled up his window.
No thank you, no nothing- so I got in my dig rig and left.

This was my first return of any consequence but this experience will not deter me from returning something to it's rightful owner, because it's still the right thing to do. But I have learned a few things.

1. Don't give too much info about what you have found. In this case, I was 100% sure I was talking to the owner of the ring when I contacted him so I was free with information.

2. Don't assume the owner will be excited or grateful to get their item back. The sense of self entitlement has permeated society to the point where gratitude can be the exception, rather than the rule.

3. Once ownership confirmation has been stablished, make the owner put in the effort to claim his stuff. Your contribution to the return process should be your goodwill and nothing else.

Good luck to everyone out there. Hopefully your digs will be fruitful !!

Wow, what a let-down. You did the right thing to contact him, and then his father, but I kinda wish you would have left it at that. Wait and see if they got back to you. Leave it on the porch? That would have probably been the "forget you" point for me. If a year or so went by after that, then there would be no guilt in cashing in a nice payday from your detecting hobby. But you are a respectable guy, and you went above and beyond. I respect that! Good on ya digger!

 

[MuddyMo]

You might want to reread the original post. Then read mine. Wait until you find an iPhone 50 yards out from a pier , buried in 1 foot of sand , in the water. Take 3 days of cleaning it up and finally getting access to the contacts. Reaching the owner and he says he's going to call the police and say you stole the phone. These kinds of things , like the OPs , will wear thin in no time. Regardless of whose name is on anything. I still make a feeble effort on returns. But nowhere near like I used to.

You may want to read my first post- #9
I understand about jerks and true fully if I went through all the effort to restore or save a drowned phone then I'd keep it too. I'm referring to wallets rings, freshing dropped stuff etc.. I'm not judging you it just not me to keep something when I know who it belongs to. To each their own.

 

[Almann]

Congrats on finding that big gold ring ! Good on you for making the effort to return it Having said that I'd keep it and not lose a wink of sleep about it......