A few weeks ago, I was contacted and invited to detect an older interesting property.
Since I charge (I got lots of calls for property markers when I was in PCB and a ton of lost jewelry on the beach) for searching (and you were invited out to teach and search) anything that comes out of the ground is mine unless they keep it and then they pay me for my services. Teaching is just being a good ambassador for the hobby in my book.
I also asked if it would be all right to detect the easement in the meantime, and received permission. There were no obvious high conductors along the easement, but there were nickels and pulltabs. My impression was it may have been cherry-picked. To be sure, I asked to return and double-check with different gear and was told to come whenever I wanted, they were only concerned about beyond the fenceline.
Asking to detect the easement is not necessary but it is in good taste since they probably maintain the easement (curb strip?)
I returned and was invited inside the fenceline, but before I began, the spouse chatted with me. And let me know to say when I was done for the day because they were excited about going through my finds and picking what they wanted to keep!
That's why I always speak with both spouses/owners initially.
I said it didn't work that way and tried to explain the process, but was cut short, told in a raised voice that we'll decide what you get to keep, and to stop, and that the deal was off. And the person went back behind the fence yelling at the spouse.
No matter how diplomatically you explain it, I've seen this always be a no-win scenario, for me and a couple other detectorists that I know.
I left quickly, and went elsewhere.
I'm 100% with you here.
I'm clear about offering keys, pet/rabies tags, items that reasonably go with the property (for example - an original doorknob from an older house), and personally identifiable items (something with their name or initials). I also always ask if they've lost something they'd like returned. I do my best to find and return lost items on a property. Heck, I'm happy to split a cache if I find one. That person apologized and said they didn't know where they got the idea they'd have first pick.
I agree with your feelings completely here.
Anyway - they said they were inspired to get their own detector. Good!
Good on 'em! Now they can see that you don't just wave a magic wand over the ground and have goodies pop up, there's skill and hard work involved...
I wouldn't have agreed to letting someone go through the finds and take first pick even if had been brought up beforehand. I've been down that road. The few times I've done that, I not only saw my finds diminish (the best ones), but I've been asked if I was showing them everything. Took the fun out of it for me.
I'm sorry you had this experience, but it happens sometimes. I'm in a new area and fixing to start door knocking and I hope I don't run into too much of this...
Did you find anything worth writing home about at least?
I edited your OP and replied within...