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So called detecting buddy

I've tested the waters on sites before inviting someone. This particular guy that I am talking about had only one day to hunt the place he got permission on. I got wind of one place near me and dug a barber dime within 10 minutes of being there. I took a pic and texted him to get his butt over there asap. There were several other permissions that I got where I invited him before stepping foot on the property. I am fully aware now of what he is up to. The guy that he invited has some spots that he wants to hunt and doesn't want me involved. I believe in "Do unto others" Don't you?

It happen like that a lot. Especially early in the hobby but all have the greed in them.
 
I occasionally would go on a hunt with a friend and we always would make a small side bet to make things fun. For instance, before we’d start swinging we would bet five dollars on who would end up with the most pull tabs, or who dug up the most nickels. That was the only competitiveness between us while hunting. It basically was all in good fun since it was a small dollar amount, no harm no foul either way. Sometimes we would hunt one of my spots and sometimes one of his. Sometimes we met up at a schoolyard near one of our neighborhoods. He lived in Michigan and I’m in Ohio. Heck, one time we decided to meet up at a park that was an hour drive for him as well as for me. I haven’t hunted with him in awhile and I’m not sure why but I know that he’s still on this forum which makes me think that he still hunts. One thing is for sure though, I never hunted any of the sites that he invited me to without him and to the best of my knowledge he never hunted one of my sites without me. He was more of a water hunter than land so maybe that’s why we haven’t hunted in a while? I very recently bought a water machine so maybe we’ll be meeting up again soon, I hope so anyway.
 
....... and dug a barber dime within 10 minutes of being there. I took a pic and texted him to get his butt over there asap.......

Do this from now on but without the get your butt over here.
There could be many reasons why he doesn't invite you. He's greedy, stupid, has a bromance with other guy or probably just scared that with your superior detecting ability that you'll find the good stuff. Find someone worthy of your friendship.
 
Honestly? Haven't most all of us snuck ahead, or onto a permission we were gifted to, coming from a veteran who was helping us? I did. I admit it.

No, but maybe I don't understand what you're saying. If a deal is to hunt a place together for the first time, or you aren't allowed to ever hunt it without the person who gained permission, then a deal is a deal.

On the other hand, just because you have a couple of hunting buddies doesn't mean you automatically have to share every permission you get (unless that's the deal). It's not a greed thing. There are just some places that aren't as good for buddy hunts as others. Sometimes it feels like the owner might not approve two people so you don't want to push them. Or, the place is pretty sketchy and there's no need to invite anybody until I check it out. Lots of reasons.
 
No, but maybe I don't understand what you're saying. If a deal is to hunt a place together for the first time, or you aren't allowed to ever hunt it without the person who gained permission, then a deal is a deal.

On the other hand, just because you have a couple of hunting buddies doesn't mean you automatically have to share every permission you get. That's silly. It's not a greed thing. There are just some places that aren't as good for buddy hunts as others. Sometimes it feels like the owner might not approve two people so you don't want to push them. Or, the place is pretty sketchy and there's no need to invite anybody until I check it out. Lots of reasons.
I hear that, it’s never been about greed for me, if my hunting partner cleans up on my new spot and I get skunked, I don’t care. How many mercury dimes can one hoard? Also, I lost a detecting buddy that pretty much told me to go to you know where because he wasn’t invited to one of my good spots, I asked someone else instead. It’s like he just dropped off the face of the earth. Childish and immature. Who needs it?
 
I've tested the waters on sites before inviting someone. This particular guy that I am talking about had only one day to hunt the place he got permission on. I got wind of one place near me and dug a barber dime within 10 minutes of being there. I took a pic and texted him to get his butt over there asap. There were several other permissions that I got where I invited him before stepping foot on the property. I am fully aware now of what he is up to. The guy that he invited has some spots that he wants to hunt and doesn't want me involved. I believe in "Do unto others" Don't you?

The way you describe things it doesn't sound like a friendship to me. It sounds like you want a partnership first and foremost. I don't keep score in the back of my mind with my friends. I don't get jealous. I give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't expect to get as much as I give, but because we're friends it works out one way or another in the long run. I might be better at getting permissions, but he might be easier to talk to than I am. Or, one day he saves my butt in an emergency.

What you're talking about is a partnership. Somebody that is going to open up permissions for you, and you for them. Quid pro quo. You've got to be crystal clear up front for a partnership. Let things slide because you think it's a friendship, and you'll get burned. Treat a friend like a partnership, and you could lose a friend.

Some lucky folks find partnerships that turn into friendships and vice versa. It's a tall order. Often times friends won't meet the expectations of a partnership and friendship isn't always compatible with the tough decisions you have to make to maintain the expectations and goals of a partnership.

Understand which one you're in, and don't try to force one into the other, and you'll be happier.
 
None of my friends are interested in detecting so I hunt alone. Not an issue for me but I'm always up to going with another hunter, it's always nice to have someone else to talk with about what you are doing and share tips and info. I made friends a few years ago with a local detectorist, we would get out whenever possible. He didn't have transport so was able to go to places that he wouldn't normally be able to get to when we hunted together. I had given him a nice spare shoulder bag to keep his gear in, he had lent me his pinpointer for a trip I was going on. It was a nice friendship based on a common interest.
He had a pretty strong religious conviction that wasn't my thing but it was never an issue other than him not being available for Sunday hunts.
When the Covid-19 hit a few months ago I was invited to pray with him. Not my thing but told him to do what he needs to do and stay safe. Then started getting texts with more pressure to pray and "find god" etc.
Then I was told essentially that since I am not of his faith and a non believer that has to follow the bibles advice and have nothing in common with unbelievers and if I want to be his friend I have to do the responsible thing and study the bible yada yada yada....
It's too bad, he was a nice guy. I hunt alone again.
At least I'm married with a kid and not single living in my parents basement playing video games...
I hope I'm not that guy......
 
I've had the privilege to meet quite a few different types of detecting buddies over the years. I've learned quite a few lessons too!

I've been taken advantage of early on, detecting CW sites, giving the benefit of the doubt to new relic hunters who did not know etiquette. The ones who would "pound a site you showed them without telling you they went back to it." Also the "thanks for the site, I'll return the favor!" but never return the favor, even when they find a site. It does pay to be a bit reserved.

On the flip side, I've met a couple seasoned veterans of this great hobby that I wouldn't trade for the world! They taught me a lot. My current detecting bud is someone here that most know and he's been a wealth of knowledge. Great guy.

There are many types of us detectorists. Don't let the bad ones change the way you view everyone.
 
wait until your hunting buddy dies unexpectedly. mine did Memorial day this year. thats when you miss a partner. He was limited already due to health, so we were selective in hunts mainly a couple schools and parks, and an hour was about his limit. so i hunted other permissions by myself i know he could not physically hunt, they were mostly in woods and steep banks, and one place the owner flat refused to let anyone else on after a bad experience with hunters. . it took me years to get that permission.
i prefer to hunt with a partner and now have none. there are several local hunters that are risky.. their permission is their own.. no trespassing means there must be something to find there. i will pass on them and hunt alone . the others never call me and i have given them a few locations available in demo sites. but they never called me when they went . so i stopped calling them. i would rather see someone get it than it be lost forever and have done that when i could not hunt. i figured payback would come around. still waiting.

to be fair had a chance at a partner several times but between wife and i surgical operations set us back months at a time when it was physically not possible for me to hunt or to leave her unnecessarily. i am going to try to contact one of them when this virus is over, and hope we are not under a knife again. when you work also and they dont, they have time that you dont have. and responsibilities dealing with elderly parents and so forth are priority.

still want to hunt with a good partner, Christian, responsible, patient and short hunts if necessary. beats not hunting. there is more safety with a good partner.
 
Before I was a detectorist I was a very avid waterfowl/big game hunter. I still hunt but not like I used to. I found that hunting, really for anything, brings about similar stories. Whether it is for deer or silver the same complaints seem to float around.

Here are my rules to live by:

1) If somebody takes me to a spot I don't go back there without them unless it was something we talked about. I certainly don't bring others.

2) It is not out or the question to ask the question... Are you cool if I come back here? this is a time and place question and I think when the time is right you will know when to ask that.

3) Private land is private land. If you didn't get the permission you are wrong to go back without the person that has it. Period.

4) Public land is public. Yes, you can go to any public spot that a person has shown you. That said, you might be crossing some moral/ethical lines by going to that spot. Those circumstances are unique so I say " If you feel you are doing something wrong, don't do it." if you go and it creates drama for you that is the choice you made.

5) Just because you take somebody once, or they take you once, does not mean you or they are entitled to every future hunt. I have lots of friends and sometimes I choose to go with different people depending on the circumstance. I know my buddies and which trips suit which type of personality or physical ability.

6) If you talk about a spot with a guy you are wrong to go there without, at the very least, giving them an opportunity to come with. If they pass it up or can't make it, at least you can say you didn't go behind their back.

Hunting, fishing and metal detecting appear to me to be governed by the same set of rules. Well, at least for me and they way I conduct myself.
 
I have had numerous great people I have detected with, and who have detected with me, over the 3.5 years I have detected. I can say I have had only one who was competitive and I felt I was providing all the spots and I finally said enough to her and parted ways. I truly am happy to have people join me, but I also dig alone and am just fine with it. I don't want any drama, just want to have fun! I also will never go back to a "shared" spot without that person and if it is their spot its the same rule. Treat someone how you would like to be treated and you will make a long-time friend!
 
Rarely do I hunt with anyone.

I've found if I take others they watch me, circle me, crowd me..:shock:

So why have anyone along at all? I hunt the water and it is so much easier planning a trip out..if conditions change that morning you don't go..You see something going on that looks good you shoot out the door..(like I am preparing to do in a few minutes) no strings..

I like Freedom
 
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