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  #1  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:08 PM
samuelad samuelad is offline
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Default Ethical question

I posted a comment on FB about using my metal detector. My former neighbor from across the street commented that I shouldn't put my dector away because there was still a $2000 ring in my front yard, probably near the street.

It seems that he and his wife got into a tiff while they were still my neighbors (probably 3 years ago) and she threw it across the street into my yard. I guess he looked for it but couldn't find it.

I searched for about an hour and did find it. I'm very new to decting and haven't found much of anything yet. With the information he gave me, I did make a significant find. Since I am so new at this, what would be the right thing to do? He and his wife are now divorced, he pays a ton in child support, they both live in a different town now, but in the same state, so he would be able to come back here to get it. Finders keepers is pretty much the rule, but if he hadn't told me, I probably would have never detected in my front yard, especially near the street.

Would like to get some input on my quandry.
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  #2  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:10 PM
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Keep it. The wife sounds like an old witch anyway. Technically it was her ring and she threw it away.......................

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  #3  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:12 PM
samuelad samuelad is offline
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I wasn't going to give it to her, but she has strapped him with so much child support, I'm sure if he sold it, it would help him out, and he is a friend.
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  #4  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:13 PM
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That's a tough one. What is it? 18k and diamonds or something? Yeah the wife chucked it and is apparently one not to wrangle with, but at the same time you did mention that he's paying child support. It's up to you but I'd take each case as its own. If he's got a great job and can be supportive of his kids and still thrive, I'd keep it. If he's broke, living in the ghetto, and working three jobs slinging burgers, pumping gas, and strategically placing ads on websites for "penny stock millionaire" then I'd be inclined to give it back. Just my two bits though.

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Old 03-30-2011, 03:14 PM
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Well like beer said it was her ring, she intentionally threw it away so you could consider it fair game. Now if she accidentally lost it that would be a different story. Obviously she didn't want the ring and may even get pissed if you try to return it to her.

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  #6  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:17 PM
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You said "former neighbor" in the original post. Now you mention the word "friend." Once you call him a friend it changes the game. I'd give it back if he's really a friend. Don't give it to the woman. Give it to the dude and chalk up those karma points. If I've learned anything from My Name is Earl, you'll find gold in the park the next day.

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  #7  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:21 PM
samuelad samuelad is offline
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It looks like silver or platnium with a big diamond and clusters. Maybe white gold, not sure. He does have a good job, so maybe I should just keep quiet. I guess since he gave it to her and she chucked it, he no longer has rights to ownership.
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  #8  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:25 PM
samuelad samuelad is offline
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He was both a neighbor and friend. I'm going to keep quiet and keep it, if he asks, I will say I didn't bother to even look. I think I can sleep nights with that decision. Thanks for all the input everyone.
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  #9  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:40 PM
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I'd say personally you have to do what's right in your mind. Peoples responses top this question will be all over the board do I don't think you'll actually find the answer you're seeking out.

Me personally, I'd call him tell him I found it, and if he's cool with it, I'm going to sell it and I'll split the proceeds with him. You then leave it open for him to agree or have another idea. Either way, if you're really friends with him, can you keep a secret forever from him about finding the ring if you choose to keep quiet about it? If it was a freind of mine, I don't think I could but that's me.

Again, everyone brings up vaild points and I'm not slamming anyone with this post. She did throw it out so it is pretty much fair game.

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Old 03-30-2011, 03:44 PM
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Tell him you are going to look for it and will split the value of it if you find it and see what his response is. If I considered him a friend I would give it to him. Either that or convince yourself the ring you found must be a different one that his wife threw and maybe the one she threw is still out there somewhere.

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  #11  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:45 PM
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In my yard..my property. LOL

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  #12  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:52 PM
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Tricky one.How good a friend is he?If your conscience settles its either right to keep it or your conscience no longer works.

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Old 03-30-2011, 03:53 PM
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Good Karma needs effort, give him a call and let him know you've found it and are willing to send it to him.

If he takes it back, fine, if he says 'keep it', great!

Either way, you're not really out of pocket and you know you've done good.

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Old 03-30-2011, 03:54 PM
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Personally, I'd give it to him. It just seems to me to be the right thing to do, especially if he's a friend.
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  #15  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:55 PM
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i'd call his x-wife and thank her for the nice find......afterall it was in your yard

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  #16  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:58 PM
dmulk dmulk is offline
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The right thing to do is to give it back. If he isn't a very good friend now...he'll likely be a life friend after and you'll feel good about it.


<D>
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  #17  
Old 03-30-2011, 03:58 PM
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If he's not a "freeloading" dad, I'd give the ring to him and let him treat the kids to something nice. My daughter (who is now 29) recently told me that when I was paying child support to her and her brother's mom, they (the kids) never saw a penny of it. The only time they got new clothes, shoes, went out to eat, to a movie, etc., was when I had them at my apartment every other weekend.

Dusty

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  #18  
Old 03-30-2011, 04:09 PM
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I'd give him the ring, no way would I feel right keeping it.

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  #19  
Old 03-30-2011, 05:13 PM
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Originally Posted by TR Mook View post
You said "former neighbor" in the original post. Now you mention the word "friend." Once you call him a friend it changes the game. I'd give it back if he's really a friend. Don't give it to the woman. Give it to the dude and chalk up those karma points. If I've learned anything from My Name is Earl, you'll find gold in the park the next day.
well put....but my thing is this....Did your friend tell you he would like it back and thats why he told you to search for it? Or was he telling you so you can find a nice piece of jewelry? You friend might be at a point where he doesn't want anything that has any ties to his ex. The ring's not gonna have any sentimental value obviously so he was probably just telling you for your enjoyment. If anything just hang on to it and if he stops by and asks about it....then I say give it to HIM. He might be generous and reward you or maybe just some good karma will be enlightened in your next hunt. The choice is yours bud!

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  #20  
Old 03-30-2011, 05:20 PM
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I'm assuming he bought the ring and gave it to his wife. The wife threw it away; evidently relinquishing ownership. He tried to find it, evidently because he wanted it and desired to re-establish ownership. From the description of the ring he knew he paid mucho $$$ for it. Just him looking for it shows that he'd like it back. And then you have the friend factor. If he found your ring, and as friends, he decided not to give it to you, how would you feel. The ring is just a thing. Friendship goes far beyond that. I've never met a person that didn't lie. If I lie once, that makes me a liar for life. I can be forgiven but the fact remains I'm still a liar. I think you'd feel terrible if you lied to him. I ain't no moral giant by a long shot, but this seems pretty cut and dried. We all have our own priorities. ><>
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