Some people are just plain crazy...(Funny, true story)

Tin-Tin

Elite Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2012
Messages
756
Location
Muskegon Mi
As some of you know I just moved up to Michigan from Tennessee about a month or so ago, so I haven't really had time to get to know my neighbors.

Well...I met one today, and boy I learned her elavator didn't go all the way to the top floor. I think it was stuck between floors.

This is how my afternoon went....

It's been raining here for since Sunday, what with thunder and lightning but this afternoon I had a break in the weather. Being bored with nothing else to do, I decided to take my F-2 out and sweep the front yard until it starts to rain again. With my F-2 in hand off I went. I hadn't planned on digging anything, I just wanted to go out and check the yard, in hopes of finding buried treasure.

I was outside for a short time sweeping around a large oak tree when I heard someone behind me screaming, though it was muffled. Pulling my headphones off I turned to see a very short, and somewhat heavy female walking down my street with a large wooden spoon in her hand wearing what I thought was a tent. (I later learned it was a rather large, thin bath robe.)

Thinking she was after her pet who escaped, or heaven forbid one of her children, I turned my attention back to what I enjoy most, metal detecting.

That was my first mistake!

"Hey you! You!! I'm talking to you," the lady screamed, catching my attention once more. Turning, I shut the F-2 off, pulled the headphones down and smiled.

"Hello, can I help you?" I asked, trying my best to be the 'good' neighbor.

That was my second mistake.

"What are you smiling at?" she asked, her spoon held out like a might sword. "You can't do that here," she quickly pointed out. "This is private property. The lady that once lived there has passed away, so you're trespassing."

I started to open my mouth to reply, but was quickly shot down.

"I don't want to hear any of your Bull@#$#^ excuses," she said while shaking the spoon at me. "You "people" are all alike, digging holes, destroying property and leaving your trash behind. You "people" make me sick! I've seen your kind on T.V." thinking she meant "Diggers" or some other reality show.

She took a few steps forward until her flip-flops were just at the edge of my lawn when I stepped up. "Pardon me miss, but I live here. I think you need to leave now. You're starting to cause a scene," which really set her off.

"What do you mean you live here? I've lived here for 15 years and I know everyone who lives on this block. I even know her children. You're not one of her children," she pointed out while shaking the spoon at me again. "No one has lived here since she passes away last year. I'm calling the police. Your trespassing so don't you move!"

I watched her as she waddled away, shaking the spoon over her head.
"You "people" are all alike! You think you can get away with murder. Well I'll be the one laughing my a$$ off when they throw you in jail."

I couldn't help but laugh and thought nothing more about it and went on about my business. I had hit a few good signals and went back inside to grab my digging tools when I see her coming back, her wooden spoon clinched tightly in one hand, a cell phone in the other. As I step back out onto the front porch I heard her talking over the phone.

"Yes officer, he's just broken into the house. I don't know what he thinks he doing in there but I'll keep him here until help arrives. Please hurry, he has a knife!"

By now I'm thinking, "This bit#@ is crazy," as I step out onto my lawn.

"No since running, I've called the cops! So don't you move!"

I did the next best thing. I walked into the garage, grabbed up a folding chair, went back outside and waited for the police to arrive. I didn't have to wait long as two patrol cars, one from each end of the street came running up, lights flashing. Both stopped at the end of my driveway, so I waited with a big grin on my face.

It had to be a sight, with her holding me at bay with a wooden spoon, while I sat in my own driveway with the F-2 across my lap, my leashe and pro-pointer by my side. Four doors opened and out stepped the officers, three with their hands resting on their weapons, the fourth with a Taser pointed toward me.

I guess when someone calls in a report of a man with a knife the cops around her come prepaired for anything.

"There he is officers. Arrest him for trespassing, breaking and entering and destruction of property. He has a knife too, I saw it," she said proudly. She thought she had me to rights. "He doesn't belong here! Arrest him!"

Boy was she wrong.

"You can't arrest someone for trespassing, breaking and entering when its their own home, can you?" I replied rather calmly, though I was still eying the officer with the tazer. He looked nervous.

"Sir," one of the officers said, "Do you have any proof in this matter?" With his hand still resting on his weapon he stepped between me and the crazy lady.

I pointed toward the mailbox and smiled. "Yes sir I can. You'll find my name and address on the mail the mailman just dropped off." I slowly started to reach for my wallet to prove I lived there, after getting the okay from the officer.

"He's reaching for his knife," the crazy lady screamed and lunged toward me with her wooden spoon raised over her head like a dagger. She never made it!!

I watch while she bounced and jumped all over the wet driveway like a fat carp on crack, after the rookie shot her in the back with his tazer, thinking the other officer might be in harms way. One of the other officers walked over to the mailbox to retrieve my mail. After coming back the first officer checked my drivers licenses against the mailing address while the other officers held the lady down.

Aftr checking everything and was satisfied, he apologized and told me to "Have a nice day".

The crazy lady (My neighbor down the street) on the otherhand was arrested for filing a false police report, threating bodily harm to another, and for trespassing. They handcuffed her and tried to place her in the back of their squad car, her fighting every step of the way.

"He's lying I tell you. No one's lived there for a year. I know my rights..."

She was given another ticket for biting the nervous officers hand as he tried to push her heavy frame through the door. She also lost one of her flip-flops when they tazed her again. As they were pulling away it started to rain, spoiling the rest of my hunt.

But I was no longer bored!!

It just goes to show, crazy people are everywhere. One may even be your next door neighbor. Or the crazy lady down the street.

HH everyone. Just keep looking over your shoulder. :laughing:
 
haha that is a very funny story! Better watch out next time you are outside. she may have forgotten that you live there and call the cops again and then have another funny story to share.
 
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

PRICELESS!

My nextdoorsnikeh, Crazy CatLady isn't that extreme, but she does have some VERY odd ideas!

I used to live next door to a lady who was CONVINCED that electricity was "leaking" from her outlets and was ankle deep on the floor. She walked around on cinderblocks, placed around her house like stepping stones! :D Claimed that if she stepped off the blocks, she would get a shock. When I tried to explain to her that *I* wasn't getting shocked, she said "That's because this is my apartment. It doesn't work on guests."

Uh... yeah.

I DID make a TIDY profit off of her by making her a copper "grounding chain" to wear around her ankle. Charged her pretty good... so to speak!

SageGrouse
 
I watch while she bounced and jumped all over the wet driveway like a fat carp on crack, after the rookie shot her in the back with his tazer

Where in the heck is a video camera when you need one!!!!!

laughingdt8.gif
 
HOLY COW! Please don't get the idea that all MI people are as crazy as that lady. : ) You're as good of a storyteller as SageGrouse, Tin-Tin. LOL I hope some of those signals are goodies from the lady whose house you 'don't' live in. Good luck.
 
At least it turned out well.... for YOU anyway! LOL! I have not had any run-ins with 'nutters' yet and I hope I never do.
 
I was warned, by the better half who was born here in Michigan to look out for those who she calls "Quirky People".

Well I think I ran into one today.

I failed to mention the soup can size rollers in her hair and the half burnt cigarette bobbing from her lower lip when she spoke. I swear the ash from her cigarette was glued there because it never fell until she was hit by the tazer.

I think she may have swallowed her cigarette though. That or she spat it over my roof. :laughing:
 
You're a riot man!! :laughing: I want to go hunting with you when I get over to your neck of the woods! :D

There are a lot of lunatics in MI, luckily they pretty much stay around the cities.
 
Welcome to Michigan! You are not to close to the Height's area I hope!!! This story had my wife I laughing so hard I was almost crying. Again, welcome to the neighborhood.
 
Welcome to Michigan! You are not to close to the Height's area I hope!!! This story had my wife I laughing so hard I was almost crying. Again, welcome to the neighborhood.

Yes, I do live close to the "Height's" (Three blocks away). Scary huh??

Irons, if you ever get over my way, be sure to bring your own wooden spoon. My wife won't let me take hers out of the house.
 
Best metal detecting story I've ever heard!

You got one to tell your grandkids :D
 
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