Ethical question

He was both a neighbor and friend. I'm going to keep quiet and keep it, if he asks, I will say I didn't bother to even look. I think I can sleep nights with that decision. Thanks for all the input everyone.

In this case I would wish I never knew. Since thats not the case and saince he is being called friend..seems to me you'd level with him and if he is a friend he throw you a few bills for your help. If he is strapped and specially if he has kids it can be rough with high support granted these days.

Ultimately it's your call as your the only one here who really knows the situation. The rest of us can only comment from the outside looking in.
 
You would have eventually searched your own yard, trust me on that one. I think everyone here who has a yard to search has used their yard as either testing grounds, or a contingency hunting ground when things fall apart.

She did throw the ring away and he probably wouldn't want it for sentimental value... BUT he might like to have the money for selling it.

You have to wonder why he mentioned it to you in the first place... was he hinting you find it for him? Or was he bringing it up in good faith to help you make a significant find.

Honestly, if it was me, I would probably keep it... but I would feel guilty about it. It's tough.
 
He was both a neighbor and friend. I'm going to keep quiet and keep it, if he asks, I will say I didn't bother to even look. I think I can sleep nights with that decision. Thanks for all the input everyone.

Yeaaaa...with comments like this and the fact you even started this thread, I would say just give it back to him, not her.
You are not going to get much sleep unless you do...no matter what you said here.
If he does ask and you tell him you didn't look, he won't know, but you will know you have become a liar.
You are gonna feel bad about that, too.
If it was me, I would give it back with no hesitation, considering all the circumstances.
 
He never said he wanted it back or even ask specificaly that I go look for it. I have rankings of friends from best friends to just friends. He is a just friend, a step above aquaintance. That being said, I do try to help all my friends out if I can. I felt an obligation to share the find with him since he gave me the general location of the ring. There are so many factors that come into play in this situation. I withdraw my statement that I will keep it and sleep well with that decision to one of waiting a week or two, think it over and decide then. After all, this is my first big find and I probably am not thing straight right now.
 
I'd get a couple good photos of it for the "file".... it was a find. And significant that someone told you it was there and you actually went through the trouble to find it. It's logged as a find. It's photographed, it's chalked up to you and your detector and skills. Then I'd go the next step and give it back to him. It's up to him what he does at that point and he has is own thinking to deal with. You'd be clear minded and there's nothing at risk but a material thing.
Great find by the way.
 
Call him and say you are going to try to find it and what would he expect you to do if he did.

He might say keep it...bad memories, or sell it and split the money , or whatever.

You just have to feel him out, then you will know a little more and can figure it out.
 
This is a tough one, but i think its all about YOU. since it wasnt HIS ring, and hers.. then its not like stealing... but if you are happy with it then keep it... if you DONT feel ok with it maybe tell him you found it and want to sell it and split profits... that way you get something out of it and dont feel guilty. =]
 
cfuller3, you have a great point there. A great find that is archived and documented remains a great find, even if I don't still have possesion of it. I never dreamed that I would have this many responces, let alone benificial responces, to my initial post. Thank you all.
 
Should tell him you found it and that you will sell it and split the money with him. That way you are helping out a friend as well as being honest , yet you get to profit a little from it too for the effort. The proceeds from a 2,000 ring are not going to change his child support situation , thats a long term problem and $2,000 is very short term , so its not gonna do him all that much good anyway. ..................BUT , do what your heart tells you is right.
 
What ever its worth isn't going to change your life. Make his day and give it back, I'm sure he'll take care of you. You'll feel very good about yourself for doing it.
 
Look at it this way it was legally her ring. She didn't want it and tossed it. If she had wanted it she would have went looking for it. He did buy it but he gave it away, so he really has no legal connection to the ring, right? I'm not a lawyer. Keep it, why give it away to him. Now if it where say his Grandmother ring or something along those lines then I would say give it back but a $2k store ring, noway or if he where a really good friend of mine I would also give it back.
 
I posted a comment on FB about using my metal detector. My former neighbor from across the street commented that I shouldn't put my dector away because there was still a $2000 ring in my front yard, probably near the street.

It seems that he and his wife got into a tiff while they were still my neighbors (probably 3 years ago) and she threw it across the street into my yard. especially near the street.

ok, he comments on your FB 3 years after the fact..?? that almost sounds like he's telling you that you can possibly find yourself a nice treasure right there in your own front yard! and since she tossed it, it doesn't sound as if she wanted it anymore.
one thing i would take into consideration before i would think about giving it back to him is perhaps WHY it was tossed in the first place. is he an idiot, cheater or beater? if so, he doesn't deserve to get it back. thank him for the hot tip on the ring!
 
I would call him and tell him you looked and you found it..It should not go back to the Ex that is for sure..It might help your friend out at this time...I would also take some pictures of it and share them here...if you keep it, then that is on you...but I think you know what the right thing to do is...Keep us informed on what you do with it...Buster.....:D
 
Okie, just one more opinion......

What I *wouldn't* do is call him up and say "hey, I found that ring you mentioned, would you like it back?" Reason being, I'd *want* to keep the ring, and if you call him up and say "do ya want it" of course the answer will be yes.

What I *would* do on the other hand, is call him up and tell him I found it. Hiding it just seems wrong to me personally. After all, he gave the tip, and he has some connection as a past owner. From there, I'd decide based on his response. He may well say "way to go, glad you found it, hope you enjoy." In which case, into my collection it goes. But if his response is something else, then yes, I'd return it no problem. If he's just planning on scrapping it for melt, I'd probably ask to split the returns (or at least some sort of finders fee).

Anyways, just something else to think about. Good luck with the decision!
 
If he wanted it back he would have said "can you please try to find it for me" or "hey if you find the ring I will throw you some cash" Either way he did not ask for it back so it's up to you in the end. I would keep it and not say anything. Chances are he will forget about it, i'm sure he already has or else he would have asked you before to keep an eye out for it or asked permission to come look for it. If he wanted it back or needed it that badly he would have let you know long before this.
 
Back
Top Bottom