Y'all remember that childrens magazine in the dentist office called 'Highlights'?
The 'Goofus and Gallant' cartoon page? Trying to teach kids proper ways of doing things?
Heres the metal detectorist version:
"Goofus loudly bangs on somebodies door in the middle of the day and asks if he can dig up their yard. All the way down the block goes Goofus banging on doors and bothering people! Gallant simply slips into a neighborhood quietly gives it a quick sweep without causing a fuss."
"Goofus goes down to City Hall and belabors an ignorant clerk for written permission for him to go pick up pennies in a Park...Gallant simply goes to the park early in the morning without bothering anybody!"
"Goofus asserts his imaginary rights to all and sundry and is a general pain in the tookus!....Gallant goes through Life unseen and unnoticed and leaves no trace He has ever been there!"...
"Goofus farts around in the middle of the day at at active Sports field dressed like Thorin Oakenshield attracting attention...Gallant goes out at night peaceful and serene!"