Well, Hes gotta be at least twice as good as any of us! I've seen him on TV! He's swinging a top shelf Minelab, sporting a diamond earring, and a really cool vest! How many Bobby Dazzlers have YOU found? You gotta cool earring? You gotta cool vest? English accent? None of us can hold a Garrett Carrot to Gary Drayton!
Lord help me I wont even try!
Digger Please! You are constantly bragging about ransacking Coinstar reject trays, You think Drayton would ever stoop that low?
I aint never seen YOU on the TeeVee! Although, I'm thinking now..."The Curse of the Coinstar Cowboys" might be a really cool Disc Channel idea?...Maybe the "Best Preacher Preachoff" kind of deal? Like "Extreme Shoplifters" or "Hoarders" Or, "Dr. Pimple Popper"..."Scrapbooker Scrapoff"? or, "Bait Shop Bullcrappers"? The parameters for a successful Real TV format are set and proven...
Who wants to send a film crew out on a crab boat on the Bering sea? In this kind of weather? How about filming the "Comfortable Climate Clad Stabbers"..? Something we can all relate to? Maybe the "Senior Citizen Survival Dumpster Divers"?. ...Maybe with all the Senior Citizen Survivalist dumpster divers go in completely naked and wallow around in a trash can and eat all sorts of stuff? Like at the Nursing home??....Yeah...I'm on to something super Huge here!
I could go on and on! Theres just no end to the interesting things people get up to and other folks want to watch! How about filming "Scratchoff Superheros"? How about "Gas Pump Grifters"?
How about "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding"? How about nothing but facebook pictorial toiletry postings titled: "Look at the size of THIS Monster"!
And thats Drayton...a colonic Bobby Dazzler scrubbing bubbles bunghole brush besmirching and smearing the sides and choking the pure and porcelain gullet toilet bowl of our Sport?...All for what? Fussing Teevee? Ok..I'll stick to bussing clad and ransacking the Coinstars...The whole deal is circling the bowl!
"Anal Fissure Fixers"! "My 600lb Life" Thats the next big Disc Channel reality show! The future of TeeVee! Just pull the crews off the crab boats and give them some different focal lenses!
Poor old Drayton will be back to selling treasure hunting books or pulling totlot pennies...or dumpster diving for survival, but I got the leg up there...