Yes I have had plenty of no's. And it is very frustrating. The reason I'm so disgruntled on these two particular sites is that NO ONE lives in either one of them. Totally empty. The woman I mentioned, I showed her my equipment to show her I wasn't using a shovel or "backhoe". The second one I finally got the standard answer about the "liability", so it was a no. I have no friends no family or even coworkers for that matter to ask anything about this place, and for the record being a "yankee" transplant doesn't help.....
How many times have you got a yes vs a no?
Don't let it get you down, it sounds like you are. You come-off as being a generally unhappy person, maybe I'm wrong.
Keep telling yourself your luck will change, and it will. Perhaps you're subconsciously carrying a negative attitude when you speak to someone about permission. I'd be looking at my "approach" and see if there's a way I could improve on it. Jot down what you say, and re-read it, see if there's something that stands out to you. Just don't overthink it, you're just asking permission to detect, not marry their daughter
Sounds like you need to start making some friends. I'm in a very similar situation myself. I just got permission for 3 spots from a local farmer, as soon as they're done in the fields. This is after a recent move, and not detecting for a few years. Sure, I'm not having an easy time, but it's work at it or find another hobby.
How would you feel if you got permission to a spot you really had high hopes for, only to spend a day hunting and found nothing? Would you feel happy you got permission, or bummed you didn't dig a pot of silvers? Metal detecting is simply a hobby, to enjoy. If you aren't going to enjoy it, you either need to figure-out how, or reconsider it as something you actually want to it. It shouldn't be a source of aggravation.
Find yourself some old plat maps, find where some old houses sat in a field, and ask permission there. People are generally less concerned about a field than they are their yard (and having a stranger near their home). You have to try and see it from their side as well.
As I said before, it takes time and work to find places to hunt. That's why new people who go to the "find a hunting buddy" board and make their 1st post wanting to go hunt with someone who has spots to hunt, seldom get a reply. Someone else does all the work, so they have nothing invested in it.
Are you researching any spots to hunt? Or just driving around until you see a likely spot, like an old house? The internet is an amazing research tool, as it the local library.
Hang in there, you'll get better at things, and your luck will change, just have a little confidence i n yourself .